Roommates or Soulmates?
“Are you and your spouse more like business partners or best friends?”
Why did you marry the person you married? You noticed his or her strengths, and the weaknesses paled in comparison. Years later, though, how would you assess your marriage? Life is meant to be shared (Eccl. 9:9). God gives us the privilege of waking up every day, not only with Him — but with a spouse who we know God has given to us.
Marriage is for life: God hates divorce because He knows the awful things that it does to the people who He loves (Mal. 2:16). The intent of God when He blessed humanity with the gift of marriage is that they are not to separate because they are now one: “The two shall become one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). This is how every marriage must be entered. It is a covenant made between man and woman, joined together by God — for life.
Marriage takes work: Two things can happen after marriage. We can get lazy — let ourselves go — or we get so busy with work, the kids or extracurriculars that the relationship devolves into business partners. Peter uses the phrase “dwell with them” in I Pet. 3:7. In other words, to share knowledge of; to live in wedlock with. It means more than just sharing the same address or bank account. So, be aware of where you focus your energy (Matt. 6:19-21). Your relationship with your spouse should never take a backseat to anything else — even the kids or work. Date each other. Husbands, ask your wife out on a date. And have fun together (Eccl. 9:9). Marriage is supposed to be fun.
Marriage has a purpose: We cannot enter the marriage with the expectation that your spouse is going to magically make you happy all the time. God didn’t solely create marriage for happiness. He also created it so we can become holy. Marriage is about serving (Matt. 20:28; Phil. 2:3-8). If all you’re thinking about is serving your spouse, just think how phenomenal your marriage would be. And be faithful with YOUR role in the marriage. You can’t control what your spouse does. But God expects you to be faithful with the part He assigned to you in the marriage (Eph. 5:22-29).
In a world trying to tear marriages apart, it’s God who holds it together (Eccl. 4:9-12). Read the Bible with your spouse. Pray together. Worship together. Serve together. Talk about spiritual things together. Make sure God is at the center.